I AM A MAN! A MAN I AM! SAYS DANNY


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I AM A MAN. A MAN I AM”Image

SAYS DANNY

I was born. I was called a daughter. I was dressed like a girl. I grew into a teenager. Then I had the talk with my parents. I NEEDED TO GROW with loved ones by my side to love me and understand I am a teenage transgender, a male locked in a female’s body. More important, I am truly a human being.

This writer believes she has great tolerance for the abnormal, a term of society not mine. After all, I always carried the moniker ‘That’s just Rosi.’ I stupidly felt pride until I realized those around me mocked not proclaimed my unique personality. I’m proud of myself and what I’ve overcome. More so my tolerance and acceptance, special qualities we all need, increased exponentially through my personal journey.

I am blessed to use these enhanced attributes to help others in their unique journeys. I had the pleasure of meeting Danny, a young man working through his life and sometimes obstacles. His courage and grace while he faced more than a young person should, his sharing with me both humbled and spurred me to have a ‘chat’ with him. He allowed me to share this with you, the readers.

This one blog, possibly a series, is meant to share, explore and teach all of us, in God’s eye or whomever you connect too, sees all of us as human beings. Surprisingly as a well informed world community through all social medias, we still sit in the dark, afraid, recluse or boisterous in our unfounded fears within a society still closed to acceptance of others. Their crime only coming from being different. Aren’t we all different to some extent?

We seemingly accept ‘weird, uncool,awkward, odd’ from celebrities yet we can’t extend the same to those who stand maybe only at arm’s length. Listen to this young guy trying to identify and accept nature turning on him, living everyday trying to live the best he can without harm to others. He only asks for the same in kind, accept his human identity, in this case Transgender/Transexual Gender Identity. Its meaning clearly stated by the medical community as genders having traits, strong and persistent to cross gender identification.

I’ve put both labels together as I didn’t see a difference in the statement of the two.

Many TS genders acknowledge their sexual identity in their teens or early twenties. This read about F2M (female transition to male) lights only a prism of the full spectrum of sexual identity and preference.

Hopefully, this lights more prisms to add to fearlessness, illumination, knowledge and acceptance for the subject of this blog and many other brilliant human beings.

Says Danny, a story of a girl from birth, her days mostly predictable, common as a cold, until the unrelenting need to transgender to a male is spoken for the first time. To say out with the old, and in with the new is another gross misconception when in truth, this human born like most of us, came into this world, a bundle of joy. 

Listen now to a brave boy share his journey, progressing, as within the terminology,  M2F TS (Female to Male Transgender/Transsexual Identity). His hope to help us understand his very misunderstood body, with a heart beating with expectation of a good future, a soul kind as you’d hope for, a yearning for us to see him as he is – a human being.

HOW OLD ARE YOU?

I’m 18 years old.

 WHEN DID YOU KNOW YOU DIDN’T FIT YOUR BODY (F2M TRANSGENDER)

Ah, (sigh) well I don’t… I don’t know now…it all started when I was nine…I guess…

YOU KNEW YOU WERE A TRANSGENDER AT NINE YEARS OLD?

Maybe five. When I started dressing as a tomboy….my parents called it {tomboy] They said it [identity change] was a phase. I never agreed with them but I never said anything. I said okay. I never really knew why I dressed like that [male]. I felt comfortable in that clothing …I didn’t know about the term transgender but I knew about it as I got older. I fit into that category [transgender] but I don’t want to be categorized.

 ARE YOU COMFORTABLE USING THIS TERMINOLOGY FOR THE PURPOSE OF YOUR MESSAGE?

Yeah.

HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU TOLD ANYONE OF YOUR TRUE GENDER IDENTITY?

Last February (2013) I told my best friend. She was a really understanding girl. And she introduced me to one of her transgender friends. We hung out one day and he told me his experience. It really related with mine. He told me about transgender and I realized I fit into that [transgender].

 DID YOU FINISH HIGH SCHOOL?

Yes.

 HOW DID YOU DRESS IN HIGH SCHOOL?

How did I dress?

 YES.

After …I dressed how I wanted too. I stopped caring…

IN HIGH SCHOOL, DID YOU DRESS LIKE A GIRL OR A BOY OR BOTH?

Before I hung out with my friend Charlie [female to male transgender] I dressed as a girl to be socially accepted. I was very uncomfortable in girl’s clothing. I felt really weird. I had long hair and makeup on. It was awkward, then after I told Charlie, I cut my hair and I dressed how I wanted to [dress].

 HOW OLD WERE YOU THEN?

Ah, 17.

YOU DRESSED AS A GIRL UNTIL THE AGE OF 17?

Yes – until grade 12.

WHAT CHALLENGES DID YOU FACE COMING OUT AS A TRANSGENDER?

They [friends] were okay with it. I have a small group of friends who are really understanding, and they weren’t as surprised. I could be more myself around them. I would act masculine around them but they would slip up with their words but they got the hang of it.

Um. my mom took it harder. She was hoping for a daughter at birth. And of course that’s what she thought she had so it was harder for her. She was supportive. She didn’t fight me on it. My dad was understanding too. We just get into arguments when they would slip up their pronouns and it would upset me. If we had to go to a family get together, they’d[parents] really try to control what I had to wear. I’d want to wear dress pants and a nice shirt. Then they’d tell me why don’t you wear something in the middle, not too manly or feminine. I didn’t want to wear that [non gender clothes].

IS IT BETTER WITH YOU AND YOUR PARENTS NOW?

Yeah.

DO YOU HAVE SIBLINGS?

Yeah one brother – 14[years old].

HOW DID HE REACT TO YOUR TRUE GENDER IDENTITY?

 Ah, I think he’s the person who’s taken it the hardest, actually.

 DO YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR BROTHER?

No.

IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR BROTHER GETTING BETTER?

Never really been told anything about transgender or what I’m going through. We never got along. My mom just told him that you have a brother. He was just born in the wrong body. My brother is really focused on what people think of him and he’s in that popular crowd at school. It’s a country school and he doesn’t want to talk about it. He hasn’t talked to me for about a month and a half.

HAVE YOU TRIED TO APPROACH HIM TO EXPLAIN YOUR GENDER IDENTITY?

Yeah I have… I asked him, ‘can we talk. I need to talk to you.’ He says, ‘no, leave me alone.’ He [my brother] doesn’t want to hear it. He’s really immature.

MAYBE THERE’S HOPE WHEN HE GROWS UP. WHAT OTHER SUPPORT DO YOU HAVE NOW THAT YOU’VE TOLD EVERYONE YOU’RE REALLY A MALE?

My dad’s side has been okay with it. When I was at a funeral a couple of weeks ago. My dad’s side knew about me weeks before they saw me. But I think it was a shock seeing my hair cut for the first time.

My mom’s side saw my hair cut and I was in dress pants and a shirt with a hankie in my pocket. Not dressed like a female. They didn’t talk to me. It made me feel awkward and sad.

DO YOU FEEL HOPEFUL LIFE WILL GET EASIER FOR YOU?

Yeah, I do.

WERE YOU CONFUSED WHEN YOU REALIZED YOU WERE TRAPPED INSIDE A GIRL’S SEXUAL IDENTITY?

Yeah, I was…it was really hard for me to understand because I was so young. The whole thing – It was really confusing.

 ARE YOU CONFUSED NOW?

I know I am a male. It’s just goes through my head – why – why me? Why do I have to go through this? I feel like I’m judged a lot.

WHAT CHARACTERISTICS DO YOU STILL POSSESS AS A FEMALE GENDER?

A lot. My body thinks it’s a girl. My body had developed in that [girl] way. I have curves which eliminates some clothes I can wear like jeans are hard for me to buy in the guy’s section. They [guys] don’t have hips so it’s harder for me to find clothes like jeans.

DO YOU STILL WEAR ANY FEMALE CLOTHING?

No.

DO YOU HAVE FEMALE THOUGHTS?

Um-no.

HOW MUCH DID YOU CHANGE YOURSELF TO SHOW YOUR TRUE SEXUAL IDENTITY?

Shaving my face even though I don’t have hair. When you shave your face – I thought when I shaved my face I’d grow hair. Actually it worked some. I wear my hair in a boy’s style. I wear makeup from ruining my cheeks when I shaved and I break out. I’m really insecure with that. I’ll use my girlfriend’s cover up or something. With acne on my face, it makes me feel even more insecure. I never – girl stuff, cologne, lotions but I wear AXE cologne, shampoos. I shaved my vagina and still do it. It’s (hair)gross and nasty. Ewww. I use different deodorants. The male deodorant is used for rougher skin and courser hair. I have female skin. It burns my armpits and hurts a lot so I switched to a Dove deodorant, not something too feminine but not a male brand.

IF I OPEN YOUR CLOSET DOOR, WHAT WILL I SEE?

My whole closet is male.

WLL YOU MAKE MORE CHANGES TOWARDS YOUR MALE GENDER?

As many as I can. I’d like to get top surgery but it’s a lot of money. $4000.00 for top surgery. I need the money first.

DO YOU PLAY SPORTS?

No. Not since I changed [accepted his male identity.]. Before I played hockey, soccer, basketball, gymnastics.

WHEN WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE SEX ASSIGNMENT SURGERY?

Maybe in 3 years.

HOW DOES SOCIETY RELATE TO YOU AS A MALE?

People give me a double take, you know. Um, sometimes they stare. They don’t usually laugh unless they are younger – like teens. It bothers me. It’s so immature and really dumb. I try not to let it get to me and try to ignore it. 

HOW DO YOU HANDLE SCRUTINY?

I haven’t swore at them. I’ll say, ‘what’s your problem.’ I don’t threaten them.

HAVE YOU DEALT WITH DEPRESSION?

Yes.

SUICIDE?

Yeah.

IS THIS RELATED SOLELY TO YOUR GENDER IDENTITY?

There are other factors but I have been suicidal because I wasn’t born in a male’s body. I think [now] it’s sad someone would kill themselves and just be who they are, you know. I was bullied a lot in high school. 3 or 4 years ago, I’d wen through really bad breakups. It [suicide] had nothing to do with my family. I have a really good family so I didn’t have problems with that [family].

ARE YOU OR HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN THERAPY?

Yeah.

ARE YOU IN THERAPY NOW?

Yeah. It’s helped a bit not much but it’s better than nothing. It’s nice to talk to someone special [educated in psychiatry.]

 WILL YOU UNDERGO THE COMPLETE PHYSICAL PROCESS, SEX ASSIGNMENT SURGERY, TO CHANGE TO A MALE BODY?

I want to be on testosterone for sure. Top surgery for sure but I need the money for that.

 YOU DIDN’T MENTION MALE ORGAN SURGERY.

No. It’s really risky and a lot can go wrong. I don’t like the way it looks.

IS THERE SOME THOUGHT YOU’D CONSIDER IT WHEN YOU’RE OLDER?

No. I don’t like that.

DO YOU THINK TEENAGERS SHOULD BE ALLOWED THIS SURGERY?

I guess it’s up to them and their maturity level. And how certain they are. Once you change, you can’t go back.

AT WHAT AGE DO YOU BELIEVE IS RIGHT FOR GENDER CHANGING SURGERY?

I don’t really think it’s age. I think it’s more how certain they are, or how ready they are, and where they are in life with money.

TEENAGERS FACE MANY CHALLENGES WITH THE CHANGE OF HORMONES, HOW MUCH MORE DIFFICULT HAS YOUR TEENAGE YEAR BEEN WHEN YOU SPOKE UP FOR YOUR SEXUAL IDENITY?

A lot more difficult. Not many go through this [transgender]  I was bullied so much, verbally and physically. It got worse closer to the end of school. I wouldn’t go to school or I’d sit in the [school] bathroom all day. The bathroom situation was so stupid. I had to tell my principal. They made me really …the boys would use their bathroom and the girls used theirs. They made me use this special bathroom only I could use it. It made me feel really awkward. I didn’t like it. Kids made me feel terrible. I had suicide thoughts. I cried all the time. I didn’t want to go to school. Now that I’m out of school I don’t have to put up with any of them.

WHAT CHALLENGES DID YOU FACE LIVING IN A SMALL TOWN?

Um, there’s good and bad things. Since it’s a small town, there’s not many people. It’s nice not to always be stared at or give you the second glance. But it’s hard [too] because the small minded people there know about me. When they see me they laugh or something. I’ve never felt threatened.

DID YOU EXPERIENCE EMPLOYMENT OBSTACLES?

It’s really hard to get a job. When you hand in your resume, they aren’t allowed to ask if your a girl or a guy but they will say you’re not old enough. You have to be 16. I tell them I’m 18. They say no, you’re not. They discriminate against me. I need testosterone to look older. I know it’s a compliment to hear you’re younger than your age but they use it not to give me the job.

DID YOU DATE BOYS?

Um, elementary school. Like to fit in and also I was figuring out who I am. But I was never – never boy crazy. I wasn’t crazy about anyone but I was attracted to girls. I was attracted to girls like you’re attracted to males. I knew very young I like girls. Very young.

DID YOU DATE GIRLS?

Yes.

HOW MANY GIRLS HAVE YOU DATED?

Um, aside from my girlfriend, I dated three.

WERE THEY STRAIGHT?

Um, they were – first one I dated was bi-sexual. I looked like a female when I dated her but I played the masculine role. The second I dated, I still looked female but played the masculine role again…

WHY DID THESE RELATIONSHIPS END?

The first one was into drugs, randomly stopped talking to me. Never tell about her family which – not good people…

MOVING ON – ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP NOW?

Yes.

HOW LONG?

We’ve been in a relationship a year and seven months now.

ANY DIFFICULTIES IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP RELATING TO YOUR GENDER IDENTITY?

Ah, her family is terrible. They make life difficult. My girlfriend is bisexual. We are in love. My girl is great. It’s me. I always think I’m not good enough because I don’t have this male organ. She’s never like said anything like I wish you had this, or I wish you were like this. She supports me and I support her. She’s 19.

WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR THE FUTURE?

I want to go to college. I’d like to go where my girl is going but need to pick what’s best for me and stuff.

I want to get into social work. I don’t want people to feel alone. I want to help people as much as I’ve been helped. It’s nice. [I think]Social workers have been the ones through stuff themselves. I’ll take this program for two years. It’s a lot of classes. My mom says it’s not worth all these classes. I’ll end up in some group home and won’t get paid a lot. I want to help people but I also need money in life.

IS YOUR SEXUAL IDENTITY A POSITIVE FACTOR FOR THE CAREER YOU PLAN?

Yeah. People can share their story. I’d love to work with other transgenders, girls or guys. That would be the best for me. But [like to help] people who have gone through stuff like being bullied or something

DO YOU HAVE A SOLID MEDICAL NETWORK?

Yes I have a family doctor who is supportive of my gender identity. She helps me.

 YOU PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED NOT HAVING SUPPORT FROM YOUR GIRLFRIEND’S FAMILY. HOW DO THEY TREAT YOU?

They’re just really rude. Her mom says how can you love my daughter when you can’t accept yourself. Stupid things like that. Like I should accept myself the way I was born [a girl]. She’s ignorant and close minded [transgender]. Mike her step father treats me the worse. Like I don’t exist. They don’t accept my girlfriend as bisexual[either].

My girlfriend’s step sister supports us. Um, my girlfriend gets jealous. She thinks she’ll lose me to her [stepsister]. She won’t.

 WHAT IS THE KEY TO YOUR ENDURING RELATIONSHIP?

It’s a bit of everything. Communication. Support. Understanding. We support with like anything. We talk about her step sister and she thinks her step sister is prettier than her. Is doesn’t come from her 9girlfirend] being bisexual.

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF PHYSICALLY TO SOMEONE WHO HAS YET TO MEET YOU?

Tell them my height. Say I have short brown hair. Green eyes. Fit. Um…

DO YOU HAVE ANY ISSUES WITH HEALTH INSURANCE?

Yes. My dad’s Greenshield doesn’t afford [cover] testosterone. They see it as cosmetic and it’s not covered. I have to pay for it which it’s a lot of money. Ontario health insurance covers my regular medical issues.

ON YOUR MEDICAL RECORDS, ARE YOU LISTED AS A MALE OR FEMALE?

 Still female. You have to pay to get it changed and go to court. Legally changing your name costs maybe $140.00.  I don’t know how much to change gender or how long it takes.

YOU’RE KNOWN AS DANNY. HAVE YOU BEEN CALLED THIS NAME YOUR WHOLE LIFE?

No. My name was Danielle. I changed it when I came out [as transgender female to male], so it was last year. February. I will legalize my name to Danny at some point.

WHEN YOU CAME OUT, DID YOUR TEACHERS, FRIENDS AND FAMILY CONTINUE TO CALL YOU DANIELLE?

No. They call me Danny.

ARE YOU A BOXER OR BRIEF GUY?

Boxer.

AS A TRANSGENDER (F2M), DO YOU WORRY ABOUT SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASE SUCH AS AIDS/HIV?

Um, yes…I’ve always been cautious but I’ve never been with a dirty girl. Besides now, I only have sex with one girl and we used protection. I used condoms when I started the relationship I have [now] until I ran out of them. I’m not sure when I  started having sex with her.

WHEN YOU’RE IN PUBLIC, WHICH WASHROOM DO YOU USE?

I go to the male’s [washroom.]

DO YOU STILL HAVE PERIODS?

Um, I hate it. It’ s not something I worry about – well I do worry – it’s not something I write down on my calendar like my girlfriend. It’s [period] not something I want to think about. Just forget about it until it comes again. It’s [always] a surprise. I hate I get it on my boxers and it puts me down [saddens]. It upsets me. When I start testosterone, I won’t get my period anymore.

ARE YOU COMFORTABLE WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND TOUCHING YOUR BREASTS?

Um….ah…it’s hard to say – mentally, no but…

LET’S MOVE ON. DO YOU BIND YOUR CHEST?

Yeah.

DID YOU TRY TO LOSE WEIGHT TO LESSEN YOUR BREASTS?

Yes but not now.

ARE YOU TAKING T NOW (TESTOSTERONE HORMONE)?

No.

WHAT SHOES ARE YOUR FAV?

Skateboarding shoes.

FAV COLOUR?

Blue

ARE THERE PARTS YOU MISS WHEN YOU LIVED AS A FEMALE?

UM, I miss how easy it was socially. But nothing else. I don’t miss shaving my legs and underarms.

HAVE YOU FEARED FOR YOUR WELL BEING WITH HARRASSMENT AND OR VIOLENCE?

No. I can defend myself. I’m not weak or like that. I’ve been hit by a male. I hit him back. He’ll never hit me again.

HOW DOES DESCRIMINATION AFFECT YOU?

It makes me sad. Even like not even being transgender. Racism upsets me. I think it’s just sad how cruel people can be. What have they done to you, you know.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO SAY TO BULLIES AND IGNORANCE?

Would you like it if you were bullied for the way you are now or the way you were born? Why do we have to be bullied for something we [you] can’t change about yourself.

CAN YOU REMEMBER YOUR REACTION WHEN YOU DISCOVERED YOUR TRUE BIOLOGICAL GENDER, A MALE?

I’d get really (sigh), stressed out even at 5 years old. I had a best friend who was a male. I would always want to be him. I’d take his clothes, his underwear, his toys and dress up like he did. We liked similar things and [I] play with his toy cars. I’d feel so much happier but it wasn’t my own so I had to give it back.

DID ANYONE SAY YOU SHOULDN’T PLAY WITH THESE TOYS?

No. My parents never said take that off or anything like that. Don’t play with that.

THE MEDICAL COMMUNITY USE A TERM GID (GENDER IDENTIY DISORDER) WHICH IMPLIES IT’S AN ILLNESS. IF THE MEDICAL ORGANIZATIONS INDICATE AN ILLNESS, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO CHANGE PEOPLE’S MINDS?

I don’t think it’s an illness or disorder or anything like that. [It’s] something unfortunate, some people have to go through. I feel I’m unfortunate. I’d rather be born in a boy’s body. I believe it’s nature. Um…I don’t really know how to change people. It’s so simple. They look at it like it’s a really big thing. When it’s really not. “I am just like you. Normal.”

ANOTHER TERM USED IS GENDER DYSPHORIA – AN UNHAPPINESS WHICH OCCURS WHEN AN INDIVIDUAL DOESN’T FEEL CONFORTABLE WITH HIS OR HER BIOLOGICAL GENDER. YOUR BIOLOGICAL GENDER IS A GIRL YET YOU ARE A BOY. HOW UNHAPPY ON A SCALE OF LOW 1-HIGH 10,DO YOU FEEL HAPPY TO CHANGE TO YOUR TRUE SEXUAL IDENTITY – A BOY?

8 – I’m happy to be who I am, a guy. I want people to accept me.

ARTICLES WRITTEN STATE GENDER VARIENCE IS RELATED ONLY TO SEXUAL INTERESTS, EXPLORATION. THE MEDICAL COMMUNITY SAYS THIS IS WRONG. TS OR TRANSGENDER AS STATED EARLIER IS A BIOLOGICAL GENDER BORN WITH MALE OR FEMALE GENITALS YET STRONGLY IDENTIFIES WITH THE OPPOSITE GENDER. YET AT THE SAME TIME THEY SAY IT’S A DISORDER. THIS WRITER IS CONFUSED ABOUT THE CONFLICT OF THOUGHTS IN SOCIETY AND MEDICAL CIRCLES. HOW DOES THIS AFFECT YOU AS A TS YOUNG MAN HEARING ANY OF THESE STATEMENTS?

I think it’s really sad. I mean why would someone want to put themselves through so much hell instead feel sexual . It’s not like you can feel it {missing male organ]sexually. It’s only in your brain. You strap something on your waist and you feel it [not[sexually], you know. It’s not like that. It’s not like actually, you have an organ. Like nerves on it and you feel it. It’s just [sensory feel] like in your head. They [public] is not educated enough if they think this [transgender] is for sexual pleasure. There needs to be more education [about sexual orientation].

Here is an example – if somebody lost a leg, that’s how they think, they get it amputated and get a fake leg and it works like a real one. But it doesn’t. They miss their leg. Attaching a fake male organ on your waist does not give you sexual pleasure. If it’s [fake penis] touched, you don’t feel it. Transgender is not a choice, it’s nature, it’s how you feel. You don’t make something up and feel so strongly about it. I was born this way.

PLEASE TELL THE READERS WHAT A REGULAR DAY IS LIKE FOR YOU?

It’s really stressful. You wake up every morning and know you’re not in the right body. It’s a really difficult thing to go through – everyday! I wake up always sleeping in my boxers. But I have to put on my sports bra[to flatten breasts] and a shirt before I leave my room. I go to the bathroom, normal stuff.

WHAT MOVIES DO YOU LIKE?

I like scary movies. I like the Notebook. I can relate, but I don’t like a movie where a bunch of girls are silly. The Notebook I relate too because the girl’s parents don’t think he’s good enough for her.

WHEN YOU FIRST MEET SOMEONE, DO YOU SAY YOU’RE A TRANSGENDER?

No. Well – I make little hints I’m male. On Face Book, I talk in third person so I can hint this is how I see myself[male] – I don’t know….I don’t say I’m transgender in public.

WHAT ARE YOUR FEARS WHEN GOING INTO PUBLIC PLACES?

They will mistake me for a female and I’ll get really offended. I don’t know. I feel really awkward.

HOW DO YOU OVERCOME THESE FEARS?

I don’t. I ignore it but get anxious. I want to cry. I get really mad at me [myself] I say, ‘what’s wrong with me?’

Do I not look good enough or something. Um…I’m sure I didn’t go out [sometimes] because of how I feel.

HOW MUCH OF YOUR DAY DO YOU SPEND WORRYING IF PEOPLE WILL ACCEPT WHO YOU TRULY ARE?

It’s not the thing I worry about. The only people who I worry about accepting me is the people who matter to me. And all those people do accept me. I worry when I’m out in public. All the people who pass me. I constantly worry – oh I hope they think I look like a boy. I hope they thought I was male.

HOW DID YOU PREPARE YOURSELF TO TELL YOUR PARENTS YOU WERE TRANSGENDER?

It started with telling them I’d been dating girls. They weren’t really surprised. The way I was acting around them- It wasn’t like the best friend thing [coming out].

I didn’t talk to myself [to prepare to tell my parents]. I told them as it is. I didn’t have to think [about] what I had to say. I sat my mom down in this room [TV room] on her break, home from work and we were talking and then I said, “I’ve been dating girls.” She said, “I knew that. I could tell by the way you would act around them [girls].” I said, “yeah butI don’t feel I’m a girl.” She asked, “what do you mean by that.” I said, “I feel I’ve been born in the wrong body.” Even though I knew I was, I was like saying that…

WAS THERE HELP ASIDE FROM THE BATHROOM IN SCHOOL?

Yes, the guidance counselors. They were nice to me. They were always available to talk to me through the transition. Respectful and supportive.

WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR ANYONE WHO IS READY TO CHANGE TO THEIR TRUE IDENTITY?

I think being open and really understanding because it could be a shock to them(others) hearing this for the first time. Don’t get rude or defensive. Keep your cool. Just tell it like it is, you know. Don’t be dramatic like I feel like I’m trapped inside a burning building and I can’t escape.

WOULD YOU HAVE DONE ANYTHING DIFFERENT WHEN YOU TOLD YOUR WORLD YOU ARE A BOY?

Um….not what I said to people, how I treated people. When I first came out, I felt so relieved and all these girls were head over heals for me and it really got to my head. I felt like winning the lottery. I finally got girls liking me for who actually I am [male]. I could play the male role I wasn’t always wanted to play. When girls were crazy for my looks really, I was a stuck up asshole. So full of myself and my hair cut. My clothing. It all went to my head. I’m not like that now.

IN YOUR ANSWERS, YOU’VE USE THE PHRASE, ‘PLAYING THE MALE’. FOR THE READERS, PLEASE TELL ME, ARE YOU JUST PLAYING DANNY?

Living. I never got to do that before. I was holding back.

DO YOU READ BOOKS ABOUT TRANSGENDERS?

At the doctor’s office there are suicide pamphlets. LGBT (Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender) pamphlets. I have my gay friends and social sites but you don’t know who you’re really talking too. I don’t really read. I’m better writing down things than talking out loud. I’d like to write a book on my journey as a transgender.

DO YOU THINK OF YOURSELF AS A POSITIVE PERSON?

Um, that’s difficult. I-I’m a positive person. I’m quick to get down [sad] if someone says something mean.

ANY LAST THOUGHTS FOR YOUR READERS?

I have something I wrote if I can read it to everyone.

YES PLEASE, GO AHEAD.

‘Your gender and your sex are two different things. Your gender is between your ears, your brain, and sex is between your legs. When you’re being developed, your brain and your body are on the same track. You develop a body that would match your brain – usually. Usually your sex matches your gender. Usually you’re born happy with your given sex because it matches your gender. Okay, picture yourself in the body of the opposite sex. Don’t think about it. Just picture it. Your body doesn’t match up to your brain, does it? If you’re a girl, do you like the idea of having a deep voice, masculine features, a hairy body? How would you like living your life as a female? Breasts, high voice…’ That’s all I have here.

I THINK THIS EXPLAINS MUCH ABOUT HOW YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE WITH CHALLENGES YOU DIDN’T ASK FOR, WANTING TO BUILD ON ACCEPTANCE OF YOU AND OTHERS.

I think transgender is something just as accepted as skin colour now.

SKIN COLOUR IS STILL NOT ACCEPTED BY ALL.

I mean it’s how we are born. Everybody is different. It’s how we are born. We shouldn’t hate on something that’s not what your used to or how you are yourself.

Thank you Danny for your candor and honesty. I hope this changes at least one person’s bias. I quote from a friend ‘We are all children of the Universe.”

Thanks to Danny from my most sincere place for talking and educating us about how we are all humans needing the same from those in our lives – love and acceptance. We come in all shapes, colors and sexual preferences yet this one hard wired element never changes. You don’t have to agree with this writer, yet I believe knowledge is power. The more we recite a word or a thought, it stays with us becoming a part of us, like breathing without thinking about it. 

Maybe it’s time to say ‘you’re special just the way you are.’ Today Danny gives us the opportunity to empower change in attitudes and educate ourselves. Thanks to the readers for keeping an open mind while reading Danny Says.

Please help Danny and those ‘different’ in the views of society. Communication equals change, change equals communication. Let’s carry this forward.


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One thought on “I AM A MAN! A MAN I AM! SAYS DANNY

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